i look for you in my dreams,
peering behind shower curtains
and checking coat closets
like childhood hide and seek
i wish it were that easy,
that i could put up a flyer and find you
reward for any information
a successful search and recovery
i want to know:
“Do you forgive me?”
“Are you still angry?”
your frantic thoughts echo off the tile,
the peace you didn’t feel shames me
but i’m just a kid
and my role model went missing
found slumped against a bathroom door
a cliché you wouldn’t like; hope halted
a heroine out of time
the body of a woman
with endless definition
a fighter who couldn’t defeat her demons
and a mother unable to hold her son
but i dreamt you just got lost
trying to make a life for yourself
i dreamt we found you
and brought you home
Now where are you hiding?
please stop, please come out
this game isn’t fun anymore
Allison McCutchen
Allison is a part-time dental hygienist, full-time graduate student, and all-around oddball. She enjoys cartoons, cookies, and attempting various gymnastic feats with varying degrees of success. She currently resides in the very conservative West Texas area and is itching to venture back out into the rest of the world.
