Release the Tangle

June 11, 2014

I wish I could let go of you

You with your crushing sarcasm

laughing at it all like it’s no big deal–

to treat me without respect.

I wish I let go of you

You with your crushing negativity

the kind that envelopes all whom you

contact

It’s true–I love and want to love you

for all that you are and all that you are not

It’s part of my nature to find it endearing

you endearing for all that you are and are not.

I wish I could

just

let

My brain may not be built that way on some days

It takes practice I guess to change the workings of it.

I look back at a year’s worth of

working on finding respect and love for you

I look back, yet it’s clear it doesn’t matter to you

It doesn’t matter that you were accepted and revered by me!

My intensity scares you,

I now know

My ability to be outrageously me, regardless of company

must seem completely ridiculous and annoying at times

I’ll admit it

It’s important that I let go, however

it is important for me to move forward

toward my truth and light

I may be no better than you

because I may feel the need to feel superior, too.

I may be no better

because I may feel the need to judge too

It all sits heavy on repeat, shuffled around

in my brain unable to unwind and straighten

but perhaps there’s beauty in the tangle

the desire to let go entwined with the need to work it out.

So I watch it, hold it, and slowly open my fingers to release the tangle…

Sonia Chintha

Sonia Chintha is an Indian American writer who lives in the Washington DC area. She blogs, writes poetry, and fiction. She is also an English teacher who believes that our experiences teach us more than any test. She is the founder and co-editor of Good Little Girls.