In the Crossing by Sara Lavan
I felt weightless
As the boat
moved closer
to the pier and
The wind wrapped its arms
around my tired body as
I fantasized about different
with fervor
In the crossing
Every siloed part of
me awakened
Every moment of the leaving
draws me closer to myself
I was drifting into memories that were dreams of
home
On the other side
I felt the sting of
ropes binding my passage
as they cut my skin
scarred and scabbed
telling a story unseen
a visible trail
ignored
Re – remembering
I claw to undo
The knots cemented
I untether myself
from the moment
gasping for air
under the invisible load
of motherhood
It is only in the crossing
that I find space to imagine
or remember
a life lived different
The weight of deviation from
the stories that we are told
keeps us quiet
in fear of judgment
I am not alone
I see (silent) cries
of unrecognition
and discontent
and hear the loud
parts played
to keep the story
going
Crushed under the weight
of silence
I dream that
you speak
Louder
so I can breathe
in understanding and connection
In the crossing
Sara Lavan
Sara Lavan fills her life with all things dance and movement- and considers words part of that rhythm. She is an artist, advocate and seeker who is most comfortable alone, or with one or two people, and the world of ideas. She is the founder of Local Motion Project in Alexandria, and her heart will always be home in NYC.