Prologue
A woman’s value: is Everything. about her.
It is the inner poweress that pushes her to stand back up again and again and again and again
Interlude
I have seen my mother, single handedly build a life for herself and her two children, while heart broken and nursing her fears of financial insecurities with two, at times three jobs, leaving the house at 5 am, returning at 10pm to a sink overflowing with dishes and two teenagers deep in rebellion.
I have seen my friend return to school days after her two miscarriages, teaching 7th graders from 8 am to 3 pm, crying in the dark bathroom at night, and nursing her fears that she would never be enough, never have a body that could carry a child to term, holding it inside her heavy, heavy heart, beating herself up for it all, and working and living for others on the outside.
I have seen my baby cousin search for love like a researcher desperate to cure cancer; I have lived her yearnings for true love and seen her not give up over and over again even when man after man broke her perfect heart into a mosaic that she glued back together Every. Single. Time.
I have seen my 39 year old colleague, single, sacrifice herself to her job–body and mind, living a stress-filled life for decades, get a promotion, a pay raise that allowed her the purchase of a house she had been hunting for years, and finally get the tax break all the married girls could easily get thanks to their double income.
I have seen the arranged marriage of my sixteen year old cousin, who bore her first child at 18, and stands tall decades later to hold her granddaughter who will never face the same fate.
I have seen girls, tiny girls, strong ones who chase their shadows and rock climb and pull their skirts over their heads turn into self-conscious young women who self deprecate with phrases like, “I’m not smart, I am not pretty, I’ll never be that good” and repeatedly say, “I’m sorry” and “it’s fine” when it is not their fault and–it. is. not. Fine.
Finale
Him: It’s a business. Even women don’t support women’s sports. How will they ever get the money to pay the players if the fans aren’t there?
Me: Why do you think it is that way?
Him: Women are not as entertaining to watch. Women don’t think women are entertaining to watch as athletes.
Me: Do you think that is because they produce women’s sports as if it is a high school soccer game?
Him: That’s part of it.
Me: Do you think that is because we are raised to believe that male athletes entertain, are the norm, and female are anomalies, abnormal, masculine?
Man: That’s not the point we are arguing about. You are saying that it’s unfair that women don’t get paid the same as men in sports, and I’m saying they don’t bring in as much revenue either and if they thought it was unfair, they should not have signed their original contracts.
Me: All I’m saying is that you can’t talk about it in isolation. It is all connected, the way we see and raise girls impacts how we see them later as women. The way we see women in our world impacts whether we collectively see female athletes as entertaining. The game of course will be different on different bodies, but that doesn’t mean one is more entertaining that the other. How it is produced matters, what the fans believe about female athletes matters,
All. of. it. Matters.
Epilogue
Value.
Woman.
Sonia Chintha
Sonia Chintha is an Indian American writer who lives in the Washington DC area. She blogs, writes poetry, and fiction. She is also an English teacher who believes that our experiences teach us more than any test. She is the founder and co-editor of Good Little Girls.
