The Hard Release

Walking through a field of sinking sand

I push hard for clarity

it doesn’t matter

those words don’t matter

I will not let them attach to my body

Weighted feet remind me of what’s behind me and what’s ahead

dodging bombs on a minefield, I move forward—

the only direction I know about

Hardened muscles–sore

pull me slowly

painfully

reminding me with each step

that I can,

I should

drop it all

It’s not mine to carry

and yet, I didn’t, I don’t know

how to completely detach myself

Turmoil festers inside

growing into a large tumor

spreading it’s wings into every cell

of my DNA

spiraling through my insides

happily damaging through and through

back against the earth

I look up into the eyes of the sun

warmth creeps into the first layer

lightening it

releasing a piece of hard

reminding me to let go